Jokes, Jokes, Jokes and more Jokes
by David Edin April 18, 2021
A few weeks back, we featured the A Prairie Home Companion Joke Show. . . it is a 2 hour laugh fest featuring jokes that were submitted by fans on our website. We hope you enjoyed the rebroadcast and found a laugh or two. . . we wanted to share with you the jokes that were submitted. To support re-broadcasts and the bandwidth to keep the archive of shows available, please consider a purchasing a Joke related product from our store as proceeds from ALL purchases help support Prairie Home Productions. View Joke related product here >>> (remember, CDs of all 14 Joke Shows are available for sale)
Here are the jokes from the January 22, 2011 Joke Show.
These are the ones we featured:
What does your father do for a living?
He is a magician. He cuts people in two.
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Yes, one half-brother and one half-sister….
Adam and Eve were naming animals. Adam saw a big creature with a horn on its face and said, “What shall we call this one?”
“Why don’t we call it a rhinoceros”?
“But, why?”
“Because it looks more like a rhinoceros than anything we’ve seen so far.”
Did you know Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz could have gone back home —- she did have a debit card with her? But there were no banks in Oz, that’s why she kept crying out “ATM! ATM!”
A man walks into a clock repair shop and the repairman is German and says: So? Vat sims to be ze problem?
It’s my grandfather clock. It doesn’t go ‘tick- tock-tick-tock’ anymore. Now it just goes ‘tick…tick…tick.
Mmm-Hm! I sink I can fix zis. Let me look inside. Ve haf vays of making you tock!
Three businessmen on a plane. First guy says, “That suit looks great on you. You must be a Harvard man.” Second guy says, “Yes, thank you. I did go to Harvard. And with that classy briefcase, I would guess that you went to Yale.” First guy says, “Yes, I am a Yale man.” They both look at the third guy, and they say, “You must have gone to University of Oklahoma.” Third guy says, “Why yes, I did. How could you tell?” “We saw your class ring when you picked your nose.”
It got cold in Minnesota and the nudist camp put out a sign, “We are open but we are clothed”.
There was a midget who joined a nudist colony but he was asked to leave because he kept poking his nose into everybody’s business.
They found a big hole in the wall around the nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
So the priest wanted to get away from his priesthood for an afternoon and he went to a nudist camp and a beautiful young woman walked up and said, “Hi Father.” He said, “How did you know it was me?” She said, “I’m Sister Catherine, remember?”
Please, help me. I haven’t eaten anything for days.
God, I wish I had your willpower.
Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his studio. The burglar got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.
The man and wife walked out of divorce court in Mississippi and the man said, “Stop crying. So we got a divorce—–You’re still my cousin!”
So there was the robber who broke into the public radio station and stole a hundred thousand dollars worth of pledges.
by David Edin April 18, 2021
